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Strange smiles and stranger boyfriends

Q: My boyfriend has a funnel web spider and a death stalker scorpion. He yells at me when I mess with their tanks. He says they can kill us if I let them out. I think he is just scared I'll kill them. Which is it? Can they can kill us or us them? (Sara, Louisville, Kentucky)

A: They can kill you. Most scorpions and spiders are harmless to humans. But not these.

(Top) A couple of deadly death stalker scorpions from Egypt [Eric Ythier © Copyright, used with permission]

(Bottom) A lethal Sydney funnel web spider [Eric Smith, California Academy of Sciences]

The death stalker scorpion (Leiurus quinquestriatus) — the most toxic of all scorpions — can flail his tail, sting it into flesh, and inject venom. The poison, by attacking nerves, can cause extreme pain, convulsions, paralysis, heart failure, inability to breathe, and death. This 3-inch (8 cm) long tan beauty lives in North Africa and the Middle East.

By the way, scorpions kill twice as many people as poisonous snakes do.

The male Sydney funnel web spider (Atrax robustus) — the deadliest of all spiders — can bite a human and inject venom that is extraordinarily toxic to primates (including us) but not to other animals. A person can die in 15 minutes.

"Interestingly, the female Sydney funnel web spider is not a threat to primates because her venom lacks the potent neurotoxin, called Robustoxin, that is present in the males," says Susan Jones, entomology professor at Ohio State University.

This 2-inch long (5 cm), black-bellied spider lives in eastern Australia within a hundred-mile (160 km) radius of Sydney.

People mostly run into the male spider as he searches for a female, the beginning of a dangerous — for the male — game. Males follow an elusive pheromone path, along silk trip-lines, inward to find the female’s hidden burrow. During mating, the male holds the female with spurs on his second legs so she won’t strike. Given half a chance, though, she sinks toxic fangs into her mate, kills him, and sucks nourishment from his body to get protein for egg development.

If one bites you, stop the poison from spreading and get medical help fast. First aid instructions.

Unfortunately, the FDA hasn’t approved use of the Australian anti-venom, so it isn’t readily available in the United States, says Kirk Cumpston, Medical Director of the New Mexico Poison Center. If bitten, call the poison control center for help at 1-800-222-1222. They might be able to locate a local anti-venom source (the zoo, perhaps).

"These animals should not be kept as pets by ordinary people because of the potential danger from their venoms," warns Jan Ove Rein of the Norwegian University of Science & Technology.

On the other hand, your funnel web spider may not be the Sydney funnel web. "Many are not dangerous to humans," says Jones.

Further Reading:

Ohio State University: Spiders in and around the house by Susan Jones

The Scorpion Fauna by Eric Ythier

American Association of Poison Control Centers: Find your poison center

The Scorpion Files by Jan Rein: The death stalker scorpion

Australian Museum Online: Funnel-web spider fact sheet

Q: Do you use more muscles to frown or smile? (Micah, Goodlettsville, Tennessee)

A: It takes one more muscle to smile than to frown, according to plastic surgeon David H. Song, MD, FACS, assistant professor at the University of Chicago Hospitals.

Smiling takes one more muscle. [The Comedy Tragedy Mask Page]

Newspapers around the globe assure us, "Frowning takes more muscles than smiling," 13 to smile, 33 to frown – The Washington Post. 10 to smile, 100 to frown – The New York Times, 4 to smile, 64 to frown – The Hindu. An urban myth?

Only Cecil’s "The Straight Dope" got an expert (Dr. Song) to go through the motions. A genuine smile takes two muscles to crinkle the eyes, two to pull up the lip corners and nose, two to elevate the mouth angle, and two to pull the mouth corners sideways. Total smile: 12.

On the other hand, a frown needs two muscles to pull down the lips and wrinkles in the lower face, three to furrow the brow, one to purse the lips, one to depress the lower lip, and two to pull the mouth corners down. Total frown: 11.

A fake smile, however, only takes two muscles. We detect the fake because "the eyes aren’t smiling."

Further Reading:

The Straight Dope: Smiling and frowning muscles

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Happiness is only grin deep

(Answered May 13, 2005)